Addiction to the friction
Updated: Sep 18, 2022
1. the resistance that one surface or object encounters when moving over one another
2. conflict or animosity caused by a clash of wills, temperaments, or opinions
The push and pull, the back and forth, the banging my head on the same wall even though it never moves. This is what this reality runs on, sorry, thrives on. Like gasoline to a flame that then spreads and builds strength to get bigger and stronger. The good, bad, right, and wrong. Polarity and contradiction.
Ever had a conversation start with the other person saying "Don't get mad but...." and immediately you're pre-irritated? Like the seed has been planted. Now what they are saying isn't triggering me, the prelude to the convo is. The projection. So now I'm deep in the heavy and my body literally feels depressed and my heart is racing. My body is fighting off the overwhelm of me aligning and agreeing with something that isn't even real and true for me. I don't even care!! And I know this but in the moment I feel chaos. I am submerged in the effect of others and not in my truth. It's addicting. I dip my toe in a little and it's not as fun as I remember and it's way more unbearable than before. It feels so real, so familiar, yet sooooo gross. I chose to sit in the uncomfortability and the silence and allowed myself to move through it and not make me wrong for it. It's ok that I tasted a little of it and it's ok that I chose it and unchose it. This programming does not go easy just like an addiction. Be gentle with yourself as you're choosing new paths. The charge and the high of the friction lessens each time I stand in me and choose something different.
About the author
Clara is a consciousness facilitator, mom, empath, and energy healer. You can find out more about Clara at www.consciousclara.com