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  • Writer's pictureClara Higbee

5 steps to get present after you've lost your shit

For real, I have lost my shit in ways that I thought I would never recover from and I felt so alone and ashamed. The reality is that from time to time we all lose our cool and behave in ways that make us feel so bad, guilty, and completely out of it. I used to function in so much emotional overwhelm that my reaction would quickly turn from being hurt to blinding, out of control rage. I scared my family, my kids, and myself. Then it would seem so difficult to not continue to spiral out of control, make things worse, and in all honesty fuck your whole day up. I am sharing these tips to help you get back to you, back to the present, and back to the truth. Here we go.....

Step one: Stop. Just stop. Excuse yourself and find a safe place. Pause and breathe. Breathe in 1,2,3,4 and out 1,2,3, 4, really focusing on your body taking in the air and releasing it. Continue to deeply breathe just allowing any head noise to just play on without engaging in it. Stay out of your head. Your nervous system requires this pause to return back to normal.

Step two: Acknowledge that you chose the crazy again and you got caught in reaction-that is just a ok. It happens. See it, feel it, and choose something different. I like to say "Yeah buddy, remember I am not choosing that anymore. I no longer desire to be that person". Remind yourself to be allowance of what is. Breathe it in and do your best to not make any of it wrong.

Step three: Don't sit in it and make any of it significant. Let me say that again-Don't make any of it significant. Remember this is only one moment of your life out of millions. Give yourself a break-it's an oopsie. Make the conscious choice to be present in the moment no matter how uncomfortable. Just keep breathing-feeling your body relax with each exhale. I even like to go from my head to my toes just simply stating body parts. For example- "These are my ears" and I touch my ears. These are my hands and so on.

Step four: Ask some questions. What do I know to be real and true here? What would it take to be allowance here? What would it take to shift and change this? What can I receive to be more present with ease? What can I acknowledge here to set me free? Make some powerful statements like- This is my universe I get to decide. I am choosing to be back to the space of me and back to the present. I am safe to be in allowance right now. Breathe it in.

Step five: Let yourself off the hook with some gratitude for your experience. Gratitude always expands you and brings you lightness. And in that lightness...forgive yourself and know you will apologize where it's required, choose something different next time, and move on with ease. Don't forget to celebrate your choosing something different and give yourself a hug because yay! You did it. I am so proud of you.

Above all......Be gentle with you and give yourself space and grace as you navigate your journey to you. I am so grateful for you.

About the author:

Clara is a consciousness facilitator, mom of two, empath, and energy healer. You can find more out about Clara at

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